Modernism

The Search For Connection

The Search For Connection

Lately, the common theme in all my sessions is connection. Or more accurately the lack of it in people's lives. It strikes me as salient how many people do not feel seen or heard or valued in their lives. Or do not have anything to connect to that is bigger themselves. 

This strikes me as a problem of modernism. As we get older, we tend to see our friends less as the responsibilities of adulthood-- work and money and family-- take hold. The sense of community in youth or even in college is gone. And the connections we used to get from our partners can start to wane as well as we get busier and busier. And then suddenly, loneliness starts to creep in. And with loneliness, depression, and despair.  People are far more unhappy that you would think. And no one seems to be the real adult we imagine we should be. 

And it's not as if many people get that connection from their work either. Among the people I see in therapy, I'd say about 80% are indifferent to their work or outright hate it. A lot of us, it seems, are just going through the motions to get a paycheck.